{"id":18,"date":"2009-11-11T11:13:21","date_gmt":"2009-11-11T18:13:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/gihamilton.com\/blog\/?p=18"},"modified":"2019-01-24T14:04:17","modified_gmt":"2019-01-24T21:04:17","slug":"new-theory-digestive-system","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gihamilton.com\/blog\/new-theory-digestive-system\/","title":{"rendered":"New Theory on Human Digestive System"},"content":{"rendered":"

Medical theories are traditionally based on dissection of cadavers and other such arcane arts. In my experience, though, I haven’t found cadavers to be models of digestion\u2014 except from the point of view of maggots and other underground creepy-crawlies. Since I was hoping to focus on other unsavory topics, let’s try another tactic.<\/p>\n

I believe it was in a commercial (and not one for a new anti-bacterial yogurt) where I recently heard again the oft-touted factoid that we are comprised of more bacteria cells than human cells<\/a>. Inspired by this surprising revelation, I have pieced together the following theory of the human digestive process, based on my own personal experience and just short of one visit to an actual sausage factory:<\/p>\n

Sausage Grinders<\/em><\/strong>
\n“Eat somethin’ that’ll stick to your ribs,” Grandpa said.
\nThe body, to him, was a bag of skin filled with air
\nand a popsicle-stick skeleton.
\nSticky food, I guess, adhered to the bones,
\na meat and potato popsicle
\nthat moths and bees lick for sustenance.
\nMoth and bee farts kept the skin-balloon filled.<\/em><\/p>\n

It’s a mechanized world now
\nwe are sausage grinders
\nthe butcher crams it in
\nour blades chew it up
\nwe make little loaves
\nand squish them out.<\/em><\/p>\n

Some sticks to the blades
\nthe night rats scavenge
\nlick the blades clean
\nmake their own little wieners;
\nsome stay too long
\nbecome sausage themselves
\nwhen the morning shift starts.<\/em><\/p>\n

We are clean green grinding machines
\nfueled on rat gas and moth farts
\nwe are composting bins
\nin a landfill world
\nwe stink and we’re slow
\nbut we get the job done
\nif the world can wait
\nand hold its nose.<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Thanks to Luc Besson for the little exchange that set this grinder in motion:<\/p>\n

Police officer outside door: “Are you classified as human?”
\nKorben Dallas: “Negative. I am a meat popsicle.”<\/em> \u2014The Fifth Element<\/a> (1997)<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Thanks for reading. Cheers,
\n\"Greg\"<\/p>\n

Photo by silverfox09<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I haven’t found cadavers to be models of digestion, except from the point of view of the earthworm…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/gihamilton.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/gihamilton.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/gihamilton.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gihamilton.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gihamilton.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=18"}],"version-history":[{"count":23,"href":"https:\/\/gihamilton.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":931,"href":"https:\/\/gihamilton.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18\/revisions\/931"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/gihamilton.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=18"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gihamilton.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=18"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gihamilton.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=18"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}